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The ancient curse auntie Antonella from Belaruss caused by burning a banana next to a cassowarie in a mine field owned by a guy named Frank
WARNING: THIS STORY IS SO SCARY IT MIGHT CAUSE PERMANENT PEEPEEPOOPOO IN YOUR PANTIES O NO. IT'S EVEN SCARIER THAT THAT ONE SPONGEBOB LOST EPISODE. I had an auntie named Antonella who was born in Belaruss in 1763. The ancient oldenned days, back then it was the soviet union, and with her being a woman living in the soviet union things were very much not easy for her. She had a sister, a MUCH older sister bron in 1699. Both their parents died after not rising up for Elmos soviet anthem, thus causing them to be excecuted. They were strapped down to a chair while watching a hyper-realistic cartoon of Elmo murdering children. It was all in RASHN but it basically said "This is you you weak BIMBO HEADASS". Then Elmo murdered them, this is important and will come back later so remember it. After their parents' execution via Elmo, Antonella's sister "Oksanayanovskanichkaya" snapped and kept telling her she had scripts for major experiments. Oksanayanovskanichkaya only made it to 1792, she died that year at age 98. One year later Antonella finally decided to reasearch the scripts Oksanayanovskanichkaya left for her. Antonella was fresh and 30, which is practically ancient in Soviet terms, so she knew she had to research every night and day until she died, catiously hoping she'd make it to be so old like her sister Oksanayanovskanichkaya. After researching the scripts from some ancient writing, she deciphered: Знайдзіце банан, сакральны фрукт (Find a banana, a sacred fruit) Ён пакажа вам адзін сапраўдны маршрут (He will show you a real route) Выбух на падлозе можа судзіць ваш лёс (The explosion on the floor can judge your destiny) Але тое, што вы павінны здзейсніць, не з'яўляецца вытанчаным (But the fact that you have to make, is not refined) Сярод выбухаў яшчэ адно палае (Among explosions another burning) І надаць яго жоўтай глазуры (And give him a yellow glaze) Як толькі ўсё скончыцца, вы возьмеце на заметку (Once it's over, you take on a note) Птушка дзікай пары знаходзіцца на вашай лодцы (Bird wild pair is on your boat) Ёсць адно, што трэба сапраўды ведаць (There is one thing to know exactly) Франк яго завуць, без яго ...... ідзі (Frank called him, without him go ......) Which she noticed was completely butchered in Belarussian, but using help from her illegal English immigrant Elmo slave, she managed to get her to make sense out of it in English, which Antonella started learning to understant the poem. It was a riddle, translating to: Find a banana, the sacred fruit It'll show you the one true route The explosion on the floor might judge your fate But what you must commit is not ornate Among the explosions, another blaze And give it to the yellow glaze Once it's over you will take note The wild mate bird is on your boat There's one thing you should really know Frank's his name, without him......go The English slave was devoured by Elmos friend EVIL SONIXXX. So Antonella was on her own, but she wasn't letting Oksanayanovskanichkaya, her sister, down. Years went by, and Antonella was very sick at 45, Taped the scripts to the one thing she was sure her daughter (who she got when Elmo raped her as punishment) would inherit. Her one remaining dollar bill. Years went by and here we are. I was reading some GTAIV lost cheat code spoopypasta when one part mentioned the character searching through family records i thought it was fun to do so i did it aswell i managed to make it to Antonella and Oksanayanovskanichkaya and read about the mysterious script Antonella's relatives carried it was interesting and i read that the script was still intact someweher and luckily next week we were going to grandmas so i thought i could find it luckily i did and then ran to belaruss on foot my family filed a missing persons report and continued grieving me while i was gone i read the script so when i made it Belaruss i found a mine field called "Франк трахаецца ў падзямелле LOL" and i knew some cyrilics and was able to make out Frank which was the first word, so i knew i was at the right place i also conveniently had a banana and a lighter, i knew that the blaz and the yellow glaze meant lighting the banana on fire after a couple of hours of standing there i figured out mate bird meant australian bird so i went into australia on foot and brought a cassowarie and an emu when i brought them here the emu exploded so i put the cassowarie next to the banana while the emu was setting off explosions i had everything ready the cassowarie, the banana, the frank the explosions and lighter the lighter the so i was ready, i lit the banana and then a spinning vortex oppened up, it was Antonella who finally knew english saying "Chosen comrade, you made it, Elmo is still gaurding this place, but i see you've unleashed the curse the scripts of my sister Oksanayanovskanishkaya carried, thank you for fucking the world, i ain't fuckin around here my dear CYKA BLYAT you've fucked the world because that was a curse, now you must merge the banana and cassowarie and use them as a sword to murder Elmo who is underground, get digging before you fuck the world firther and i can't stress this enough, you're more that the chosen one, you're a comrade, fuck off, bye" and i managed to merge the banana and the cassowarie, they turned into a potato sword, it smelled like a potato and had potato texture but it was a classic sword alright, so i dug with the sword and left the emu to explode, i was digging as the sky was turning reddish-yellow in the name of soviet Elmos new world order curse thingy, i guess Elmo and Oksanayanovskanichkaya are the same person, i slashed at elmo and killed him lol, then the world was unfucked and i ran from the belarussian authorities with Hardbass blairing behind us. I made it back to my family, who didn't question me for some reason lol, the police didn't question me too i guess. We all lived happily ever after. CYKA BLYAT everyone, CYKA BLYAT written by chosen one Category:Trollpasta Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY! Category:Well, that was pointless. Category:POINTLESS VIOLENCE TOTALLY MAKES IT SCARY U GUIZE Category:EVIL SONIXXX Category:Ghoooosts Category:English Class Failure Category:Potato Category:Research is for pussies! Category:Rituwel Category:MARY SUE ALERT Category:That just raises more questions! Category:Title that makes babbies laugh Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Category:Wall of Text Category:Hyper-realistic Category:Overused Running Gag